Adam Snider

Acknowledging the dark side of life

In Spiritual Experiences on April 10, 2009 at 4:49 pm

I just recently returned from a Good Friday service at the Unitarian church. It was not, as you might have guessed, an explicitely Christian service. Jesus played a part, of course, but it wasn’t the traditional Christian Good Friday mass. It was still called a Tenebrae service, but it the part about “Jesus saves!” was noticably absent (since it was a Unitarian service, rather than a Christian service).

It was quite a moving service, for me. It was short but sombre. It caused me to be much more introspective than I have lately, and to acknowledge the darknesses in my life.

In particular, I thought about my father.

My farther is ill. He may even be dying, albeit relatively slowly. His kidneys are failing. In fact, he started on dialysis earlier this week. While I think he still has some kidney function, it’s as though the organs have already failed him completely.

It seems more and more unlikely that he will live to be an old man (he is only 50). I have been denying this and, in doing so, acting as if our time is unlimited. Instead, I should embrace the dark truth of the situation. I should acknowledge his illness.

I should cease taking my father’s life for granted. I should make more time for him in my life. I should let him know that I love him—through actions, if not through words. I should do all of this soon.

Now may be all that we have.

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  1. Hugs to you my friend. It’s hard coming to grips with morality. I’ve had to come to peace with my health issues and it’s one of the toughest things ever.

    xoxoxo

    • Thanks for the kind words, Rosemary. It’s very tough to acknowledge mortality—both our own and that of the people we love—but life is much more meaningful when we do. When we realize that, for some of us, our time will likely be shorter than “average,” it makes life urgent, and we should live life as fully as possible regardless of our situation.

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